And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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