either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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