God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
one two three fourrrrnication!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
