Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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