So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
