can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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