dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize