a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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