i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
God, you're like boner-b-gone
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
