his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
