Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
