I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
