sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
