it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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