I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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