I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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