Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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