you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize