If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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