I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
