My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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