Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
