if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
