it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
