Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
