No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize