I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
smell my finger.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
