my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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