I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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