turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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