I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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