Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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