carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pants are for mortals
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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