Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
