Kiss
Puke
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
