I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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