I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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