my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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