you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize