Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
