Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
