his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
