Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
