Whod you bang
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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