Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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