i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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