another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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