Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
