just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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