We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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