I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
