We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
