he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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