Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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