we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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