his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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