I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he thought i was a dude.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize