butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If that was your dad, he is hot
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
