i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize