My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
